


In This Fight, It's Love or It's Death. (Hiatus)

by Shyrianz



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Amnesia, Assassination Attempt(s), Assassins & Hitmen, Attempted Murder, Enemies, Hate to Love, Hitman!Gerard, Love/Hate, M/M, Memory Loss, Murder, Nightmares, Possibly triggering?, Rating May Change, The doctors are incredibly lenient, Warnings May Change, title may change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-03-06 13:34:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3136304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shyrianz/pseuds/Shyrianz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i> The woman had placed down a few files on to the desk in front of her. One file had a lot of information about his next target.</i><br/>“I want Frank Iero dead.”  </p><p>As a known assassin, Gerard has a mission. He does not intend to fail. Though sometimes, when a push comes to shove, he has to fail.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Rain had fallen from the sky above, icy and cold. It was falling at a rapid pace, causing the night sky to seem even darker than it usually was. It was like a sense of gloom and evil was lurking in the shadows of the streets of New Jersey. Each shadow caused by the street lights seemed darker than the last. The rain ran down the street, building up at the bottom. A hooded young figure stood by a street light. They were leaned against the post, the cold metal had caused a wet patch against their jacket. Their head was hung low and no one could see their face.  Their hands were in their pockets, playing with something. Not many people roamed the streets at night, no one dared. Not in this area of New York. The young man looked fearless and stubborn, not scared of what lurked behind the shadows, even though he was usual apart of them himself. He waited for over an hour, waiting for the right time. His eyes weren’t visible due to the hood and his fringe, it gave him a sense of security. Nobody would know who he was; no one would ever know.  
He knew that he had waited long enough. He knew when the time had come.  
 _10_  
9  
8  
7  
6  
5  
He counted in his head until the target appeared from the dark alleyway. Emerging into the darkness of the street.    
 _4_  
3  
2  
1  
A young woman, around the age of 22, emerged from the shadows. She giggled, and fell to the floor in a drunken haze. She was oblivious to her surroundings, not a care in the world about the man next to her. The hooded man smirked and walked over to her limp body on the floor. She wasn't even passed out, just so intoxicated that she couldn’t stand. He smiled as he stood over her body. He knelt down on top of her and she just stared up at him with lifeless eyes. She didn't struggle. She didn't even flinch. She made his job easy. It’s not like he had any problem with his job in the first place, but she made it one quick swipe and she was over. He pulled out a blade from his pockets and played with it in front of her face. He liked teasing his victims. When their heart beats faster, more blood will emerge from their bodies. He liked that. He liked having a messy kill.  
He pressed the blade next to her neck and drew it across. He didn’t do it hard enough in the first place. He wanted her to beg for her life. Not that he’d give her it. He did it for real the second time. He stood there, away from the blood squirt and watched her life wash away in the rain. It was tragic, but it didn’t stop a hint of a smirk on his face as he saw her take her last breath.  
He didn't run back to his studio. Instead he walked, calmly, savouring the rain. His job was done, quick and easy. It was simple.  



	2. Chapter 1: The New Contract.

“How can I help?” Gerard asked his new client. Gerard has never showed his face to any of his clients. That would risk too much. Jail mainly, but it would also ruin his career. He has a signature look. It identifies him as a killer, but also as a business man. He knows a girl. Her name is Lindsey. She owes Gerard a favour, so she created him a mask. Not just any mask though, a mask that looked like an actual face. It was makeup and a lot of expensive materials, and it was his new image. Little did he know that the look would be the face of most assassinations.   
“I want someone dead.” A woman said, smugly.   
She actually worked within the building that Gerard works for. He didn’t know her name, and he didn’t want to know. That is too much client information. Client intelligence was not to be shared. Gerard was one of those guys who got on with his job without much question. Besides, he was well known now. He was overbooked half of the time. His “boss” told him that he could only select a few. It wasn’t healthy to take on so many jobs at once.  
He didn’t have a boss as such. He was his own boss. Though he did have an advisor. It was only to advise him against getting caught. It could be said that Gerard worked in a building that was much like the CIA or MI5. Although, clearly they weren’t. They weren’t the bad guys as such, but they were working out a way to corrupt the government. He worked for "Skull".   
“I figured.”   
She sighed and rolled her eyes. She seated herself in the seat opposite Gerard’s desk. The seat over looked a lot of New York City. He was a skilled hit man. There was many of the same trade in New York, but Gerard was one of the best. Gerard was so well known, that people knew who killed someone when it was Gerard. Gerard was lucky enough to know people who deleted all of his files before he joined this trade. Nobody really knows who Gerard Way is. There is no evidence to know who he is. Everybody believes Gerard is an alias of someone else. Of course, Gerard would be a fool to tell people that Gerard is an actual name. It’s actually quite funny. When Gerard started in the business, he had started killing for people he met in bars. He’s not even sure how it happened, but he loved it.   
The woman had placed down a few files on to the desk in front of her. One file had a lot of information about his next target.   
“I want Frank Iero dead.”   
Gerard looked up at the woman and then down to the files. He scanned the files to find that Frank was 25, living in New Jersey. He worked for a newspaper company in the centre of New York.   
“Any particular way you want him dead?” Gerard asked the woman, the same expression on his face  
“Public, and I’ll give you $50,000. Any other way and it’ll be halved.”   
Gerard raised an eyebrow at the price. He’d never been paid that much before. Not even when his clients also work for Skull.   
“Fine. Let me just get the papers out.”

Gerard’s first stop was at Frank’s work place. He had taken his mask off at this point. He didn’t want anyone to recognize who he was. Frank’s work place was some fancy ass building not far from Gerard’s office. It was almost like a hotel, yet it was for a newspaper company. The building was glass, not very unique considering there is a lot of glass buildings in New York. On the outside there wasn’t many people walking about. Gerard always liked scoping out his targets places. It gives him extra details about their life and routine. Sometimes it will scare Gerard. It will scare him knowing that he’s killing a real human. Yet he always pulls himself back together. He remembers why he started in the first place. It’s only a job. A job that he loves for that matter.  
Opposite the building was a Starbucks. Gerard decided to walk inside of Starbucks and wait for Frank to come out. He didn’t know when Frank’s shift ended, so he decided to grab a coffee and stare out the window and see whenever he saw Frank. He’d only got one picture of him and it seemed to be a couple years old, hopefully he is not too difficult for Gerard to spot. Gerard decided to take out his laptop and do some background research on him. It was surprisingly difficult to find any information on him. He found an old Social Media account, but nothing was on there. It was just the picture Gerard owned and his date of birth. Gerard tried tracking things about the page but no results were found, it was surprisingly odd.   
Frank walked into the Starbucks while Gerard was having a fit of despair after finding no results on him. Gerard couldn’t help but stare at him. He wanted to know exactly everything he could about Frank. Yet, he couldn’t find anything, so he’d have to do the research himself. Not that Gerard was complaining. It made it more fun after all. Frank walked out after a few minutes. Gerard packed up his bags and followed him a minute after.  
Gerard studied the route Frank was taking to the train station. There was a few good advantage points for a good snipe, and even a throwing knife. This would be a good kill. He could feel it in his stomach. And, by the time Frank had reached the train station, Gerard had a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment what you think! Sorry for any mistakes.


	3. Chapter 2: Plan Into Action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard places his assassination plan into action.

Gerard spent the next few days, planning every single inch of his plan. Planning was his favourite part, other than the actual kill. It was like playing a real life video game. You had full choice over your actions, and Gerard loved that. He loved the way he could customise his fate while doing something so thrilling and exciting. He had planned everything. His escape route, his weapon, even down to his clothes. He settled on his normal look with the hoodie, although he decided against his mask, it had become a household look. He planned on jumping off the building into a dump and using throwing knifes. Gerard enjoys using throwing knife. He used throwing knifes in his first kill. His first kill, though, was out of hatred of the human, not as a job. He knew then that he had a passion and talent for hurting other humans. He’s not a psychopath, he swears, just a little unnatural. Gerard’s also not a person for tidying up the body, not that that it is possible with a public kill anyway. With his first kill he had left the body mangled and torn in the guys house. He deserved it. It looked so bloody and gory. It made Gerard pleased with his knife throwing skills. He’s not aiming for a messy kill with Frank. It would take too long. He would only have a few seconds to escape the area. It would be quick and a hope for the best. He would only have one shot at this. If he fucked it up, which he knew he wouldn’t, then he would have to do the kill secretly. It’s not something Gerard would do. He wanted the full amount of money. He wanted to succeed in this kill.  
  
  
His vantage point was an abandoned building nearer the bus station. He had spent a few days in this location to find exactly what time Frank would be passing. 5:43. He had situated himself on the second floor of the building. He had a large window he could look out of. The window was a great position to throw the knife from, it should hit Frank directly in the chest. The knife was long enough to pierce the heart fully. It’s should cause him instant death, but even if it didn’t the doctors won’t be able to save him. Gerard smirked a little as he thought of the pain Frank will be going through. He’s not sadistic, just likes to see his victims plead for help. Does that make him crazy?  
Gerard was playing with the knife in his hand as he leaned out the window, looking for his target to come into range. It was anytime soon. Gerard knew he was going to show up, he had followed him to work so he knew that he wasn’t ill. Gerard always got nervous before performing the kill. He got all jittery and nervous, yet he always felt excited and thrilled. It was an unusual mix, but once the adrenaline kicked in he didn’t even care.  
  
  
5:43 was slowly approaching and Gerard had positioned himself. He was hidden away from the public eye but had a lot of room to throw from. The window had been opened so wide that he could throw himself from it. Not that he wanted to, but it was that big. If he took a step wrong he could fall onto the ground. He wouldn’t take a wrong step, though. He had taken courses in Freerunning before, he knew how to land and jump. He wouldn’t fall. The only possible way he could fall would be like Bran Stark from Game of Thrones. There would be no way he would fall by him slipping. He could only fall by being pushed, but that’s not going to happen.  
  
  
When Gerard finally saw Frank approaching from around the corner, he moved closer to the edge of the building and got his knife ready. His eyes locked onto his target. When he got into his stance the world around him stopped. He only focused on his target. Nothing else mattered. It’s a brief moment where nothing in the world exists other than his target. His sense would be filled with the target. Usually he could, hear them, smell them, and see them. He turned off from the world around him and all that mattered was his target. Frank was walking extremely close to the spot where Gerard was going to strike. Gerard’s pupils went wide as he gripped the knife tightly in his hand. His breathing became faster as he got ready for the kill. Frank’s position was right there. At this point in a kill, time slowed down. It gave him an advantage to double check his position. Then a rush of wind pushed against his skin and everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like foreshadowing. 
> 
> Comment?


	4. Chapter 3: Hospitals... Ew.

Everything was blurry and bright to Gerard. He was staring up into the blinding sun. He didn’t know how he got there. His head hurt and his head felt sticky. He wasn’t sure why, it just was. The light was shut off by a figure of some sorts. They were leaning over him. He couldn’t see the face as his vision was blurry. He tried opening his eyes, but it was too much. He could hear voices around him screaming and talking loudly amongst each other. He wasn’t sure what they were saying, he could only hear certain words such as _ambulance_ or _hospital._ He wasn’t sure what was going on, all he knew was that he was in pain. At least, he thought he was in pain. He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on.  
  
He remembered getting put on a stretcher and being told to stay awake. Some strange men were around him, he had no idea what was going on. He also remembered himself going into a hospital and his vision coming back. He was scared that he wouldn’t be able to see again. It took him a while to be able to process thoughts. It turned out he had been bleeding heavily. He found that out from a doctor. He needed stiches in the back of his head. He was still a little fuzzy but he could move and think of things. He didn’t know who he was, how he started bleeding or anything like that. It scared him.  
  
“Sir?” A young doctor asked.  
  
Gerard looked up slowly, not wanting to disturb the new stiches in the back of his head.  
  
“We need to have a chat with you.”   
  
Gerard nodded dumbly and stood up from the bed he was on and followed the guy out of the room. He felt a little dizzy standing up.  
After walking down a long endless corridor, he entered a room that contained a large conference table and people sat around it. He was guided into a seat next to a really good looking man.   
  
“So, Gerard. Do you know what happened?” A doctor said around the table.   
  
Gerard just looked around the table. Little did he know that Gerard was him.   
  
“Gerard?”   
  
Gerard looked up and raised his eyebrow at the blonde haired doctor who was talking to him. “Me?”  
  
“Yes you.   
  
“My name is Gerard?”   
  
“Well, we’re not sure… It’s says on your clothing _property of Gerard_ but that’s all we can find about you.” The doctor replied.    
  
“Oh well, do you know where I live?” Gerard asked, playing with his hands. He didn’t remember anything. He wishes he could remember but he couldn’t. 

“No. We have no files on you. Your fingerprint is invalid and we can’t find any data on you.”

“He can stay with me.” The man beside him said.  
  
Gerard raised an eyebrow and looked at the beautiful man beside him. He’d never seen this man before. It didn’t stop him from admiring him. It seemed strange for a random stranger to help him.   
  
“Are you sure?” The doctor asked the man beside him.   
  
“I’m sure. I found him anyway.”   
  
“Anyway, Gerard, do you know how you fell from the building?”

“Fell? I don’t remember my own name, let alone how I fell.”   
  
The doctor rolled his eyes dramatically. “Do you know how he fell, Sir?” He asked the man beside Gerard.   
  
“Not really.” The man said. “I remember walking towards the train station and seeing a body fall from the sky. The first thing I thought was he was try to kill himself. He can’t have been though. He fell awkwardly, and he only fell from a small height. It was almost as if he got pushed.”   
  
Gerard sighed a sunk down in his chair. It was bad enough losing his memory, but he now find out he got pushed too!

“So are you saying this was done on purpose?”  
  
“I think so, but nothing definite.”  
  
“Gerard? Can you explain why we have no files on you?”  
  
Gerard thought carefully for a moment but could think of no conclusions. “No. Sorry.”  
  
The doctor sighed and nodded. “It’s okay. We have no other option but to keep you in the country. We believe that your memory will come back in a couple of months. You’ll have to come back for weekly check-ups.”  
  
“I can’t afford it. I don’t know if I have money.” Gerard sighed.   
  
“I can.” The man next to him said.   
  
Gerard’s eye lit up. This man was being so generous to him. “Thank you so much.”  
  
“Don’t mention it.”  
  
“Okay,” The doctor said “If you don’t mind doing that.”  
  
“Not one bit. It must be awful not remembering anything, let alone not having anyone to tell you shit.”   
  
Gerard nodded slightly. His head had started hurting, the painkillers had begun to wear off.  
  
Gerard walked out of the hospital closely behind the man who had helped him. The hospital was massive and both of them had gotten lost on their way out a few times. He still didn’t know the beautiful strangers name, or anything about him. All he know was he had been saved. Well, at least that’s what it felt like to Gerard.   
  
They both arrived at the taxi stop about 3 minutes after exiting the building. The building was quite large and they both got lost a few times  
  
“Get in.” The man said, pointing to the passenger side of the taxi and opening the door for him.   
  
Gerard nodded and climbed in the car. “So what’s your name?” Gerard asked.  
  
“Hi. I’m Frank.” He said holding his hand out for Gerard to shake.  
  
Gerard smiled and shook his hand. “Hi, I’m Gerard apparently. Thank you for all this.”   
  
“It’s my pleasure. I hope you can put up with me.” Frank laughed before telling the driver where to drive to. Gerard had never heard of the street before, then again, he couldn’t remember if he had heard it before.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate comments.


	5. Chapter 4: Shopping!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing interesting really happens. Though, Frank does take Gerard shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things in asterisks are nightmares.

“This is my humble abode.” Frank said energetically as he walked into the house. Gerard was walking behind him slowly, playing with his hands and taking in his surroundings. Gerard thought the house was quite large. From the outside it looked more old and antique. Gerard had expected the inside to be covered in wooden furnishings and antique furnishings. He got the shock of his life when he walked into the house. The inside was modern and clean. The house was exactly like Gerard expected his would be. Most of the rooms that he had walked through were a clean white, almost similar colour to the hospital he had woken up in.  
  
“This room is my study room.” Frank said pointing to a room on his left, just off his lounge. “If you don’t mind, that is the only room I will keep private.”  
  
Gerard just stared at Frank before nodding his response. Gerard hadn’t really noticed before, but Frank liked to speak with his hands. It made Gerard wonder whether he talked with his hands. He didn’t know.  
  
“Great! I’ll show you your room.” Frank clapped his hands and carried down a hallway.  
  
When they reached the end of the hallway – which wasn’t too long – there was two doors next to each other. One was painted a light red and the other was a white like the hallway.  
  
“Mine is the red one, and yours is the one next to it.” Frank said to Gerard.  
Gerard nodded and just stood awkwardly still playing with his hands.  
  
“I’ll leave you to it and get used to your room. I shout you when I have some food on the table. Is there anything you don’t like?”  
  
Gerard looked down and furrowed his eyebrows. He thought of anything he used to like. He couldn’t even remember that. “Erm… Not that I know of.”  
  
Frank sighed, “That’s okay. We can try things.” 

Gerard just sighed and walked into his room. It was nice for someone to offer him a place to stay. Especially considering he doesn’t know when or if he was going to get his memory back.  
  
His room as plain as he had expected. Inside was a double bed with white sheets on. A dark wooden wardrobe gathered in the corner, and a matching desk rested against a wall. His bed rested against the wall he shared with Frank, and beside that he had a bedside drawer. There was nothing in his wardrobe and drawers, nor was there anything on his desk. He figured Frank lived alone. He felt bad for taking things from Frank with no way of paying him back. He had no job that he knew of, no income, no house, no family. He was completely empty. Frank would have to house him, feed him, cloth him, and get him to remember his past. He felt bad for wishing this upon a stranger.  
  
Gerard was laid on the firm bed when Frank walked into his room. Gerard hadn’t noticed he walked into the room. Instead he was just laid on the bed, racking his thoughts and trying to will away his headache he had gained.  
  
“Gerard?”  
  
Gerard looked up and hummed back to Frank. He stared into Frank’s sparkling hazel eyes. Frank faltered a little, staring back.  
  
“Yeah, I’ve ordered a Chinese. Are you hungry?”  
  
Gerard nodded and stood up. He followed Frank down to the dining room. Chinese had already been set out on the table. Gerard took a seat next to Frank and looked at the selection of food in front of him. There was a lot of food he had never tried before, and some he was sure he had tried. There was too much food for the both of them, so Gerard decided ask about it. “Frank? Why is there so much food?”  
  
Frank laughed a little before replying “I didn’t know what you liked, so we can try a bit of everything.”  
  
“Thank you.” Gerard muttered before digging into his food. It turns out he didn’t like the duck, nor did he like the spicy stuff. It was a little too much for Gerard to handle.

Though he did like the noodles and the rice, so that’s all good. Frank didn’t stop staring at Gerard throughout the meal. It was almost as if he was paranoid that Gerard was going to choke on his food and die. Gerard was starving, it seemed. He obviously didn’t know the last time he had eaten. He figured it wasn’t too long before his _incident_ , but he had no re call.  
Gerard liked walking round Frank’s house. It was comforting and relaxing, and it almost seemed as if he belonged there. He knew he didn’t. It was a stranger’s house, yet Frank felt so… Familiar… and Gerard couldn’t understand why.  
Gerard wasn’t long to bed. The day had drained the life out of him. Pretty much literally. He was now missing most of his life. He passed out almost instantly.  
  
* ** _Darkness lingered over Gerard. Backing him up against a wall and gripping his throat. Tightening and overwhelming. Gerard’s breathing became uneven, to a point where breathing was impossible. Blood poured from the wall above him, warm and sticky, covering him. Blood rained down on him like water but thicker. The black and red contrasting in his mind, twisting and turning. His head pounding, his hands sticky and he was unable to breathe. He collapsed down the wall, letting the darkness take him and overwhelm him_**.*  
  
He woke startled and breathing heavily. He scrambled around trying to wipe the sticky blood off him. In this attempt he found out he didn’t actually have blood on him. It took him a while to sleep again, but when he did he didn’t get disturbed again at all.  
He didn’t wake up until about 11. Frank was already up at this point. Frank was lounging on the sofa in just his underwear. It took Gerard a while to look away from Frank’s crotch. It was distracting him.  
  
“Morning, Gerard. Are you hungry?”  
  
Gerard gulped and then nodded.  
  
“Okay, we have some cereal in the cupboard. Then do you want to go shopping for clothes?”  
  
Gerard didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded dumbly. He was still shaken up about the night before.  
  
“Okay, we will leave at about half 12. I’ll get you some clothes to go out in.” Frank said standing from his seat and walking to his room.  
  
Gerard stood there before moving to the cupboards to search for food. It took Gerard too long to actually find edible food. He found a lot of spices and flavourings before he actually found the cereal. He noticed that he recognized one of the brands of cereal, which was hopeful. He didn’t take long eating and then changing into Frank’s spare clothes. They were a little tight but they weren’t restricting for the most part.    
  
The shopping centre was large and seemed familiar in Gerard’s mind. It gave Gerard hope that everything would come back if he can remember small things. Even if it is ever so slightly. They stopped in a few stores and picked out some plain black jeans after trying to find his size for over 30 minutes. Frank seemed patient enough with Gerard. Even after Gerard got frustrated over little things like remembering his shoe size.  
  
“Have we got everything?” Gerard asked after over 2 hours shopping. His arms were aching from carrying all the bags. Frank was carrying arms full too. Gerard only seemed to want the same shit. Black t-shirts, and black skinny jeans. It made Frank’s job easier, although he felt bad for buying the same thing multiple times. He wanted to give Gerard a variety.  
  
“If you want to leave we can.” Frank replied.  
  
Gerard looked down at his shoes before nodding.  
  
“Okay then.” Frank said before walking towards the exit.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for any mistakes. Comment your thoughts?


	6. Chapter 5: Extra Therapy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank decides that Gerard needs Therapy.

  
The nightmares didn't end. Not once. Every night was a terror and a fright. Blood stuck to his lungs and the back of his throat. It caught onto his clothes. It followed him everywhere, never letting go. Lingering worse than cigarette smoke. Darkness flooded his thoughts. It overwhelmed him. He swallowed thick and deep every night, willing himself to be taken over by the terror before him. Never once did he get his wish. He became the darkness. He became the blood and horror before him. It swallowed him whole. Yet every time he was still himself. He just became a horrified version that had been consumed by darkness.   
  
Frank had no idea of the terror that Gerard had through the nights. But he still felt like booking Gerard in with a therapist. He knew that, even though Gerard saw a doctor, he should really get therapy too. They hardly talked to each other. Gerard was very withdrawn and didn’t speak freely. He understood why, of course. Especially with the fact Gerard had no memory as such. It would terrify Frank if it happened to him. So of course he understands why he would be withdrawn. Frank had booked Gerard a therapist appointment for the 3rd week he’d been staying with him.   
  
“Gerard?” Frank shouted from the hallway at about 8am. “Are you awake?”  
  
Gerard just opened the door. He had been awake for over 2 hours and had only slept one hour. He was so tired. His sleeping pattern was too irregular.   
  
“Oh morning, you’re already changed.” Frank answered looking a little shocked to see Gerard awake.  
  
“Oh yeah. I didn’t sleep too well.” Gerard replied honestly playing with his hair and staring at his feet.  
  
“That’s a shame. Look, I know you’ve seen the doctor twice since the accident but I was thinking getting you a therapist too.”  
  
Gerard didn’t know how to respond. It scared in some way talking to someone about this. Though, reluctantly, Gerard nodded.  
  
“Okay, I got you an appointment this afternoon.”   
  
Gerard nodded, thankful.   
  
“Are you okay, Gerard? You seem quiet.” Frank asked cautiously walking towards Gerard.  
  
Gerard bowed his head but nodded nonetheless.  
  
“You know you can tell me if you’re not okay?” Frank told Gerard. He grabbed Gerard into an awkward hug. It was still unusual living with someone he never knew, and hugging was totally off Gerard agenda. However he did seem surprisingly comfy in Frank’s arms.   
  
“I know.” Gerard answered hugging Frank back.   
  
  
  
“So, Gerard, tell me a little bit about yourself.” The therapist said to him when they got to the room.  
  
Gerard looked down at the floor beneath him.  
  
“Do you have nothing to tell me about yourself?” The man asked him. He had a weird bushy moustache and looked like he hadn’t washed in days.  
  
Gerard shook his head.   
  
The man sighed and turned to face his computer. He read the files on his screen carefully. “Ah, I see.”  
  
Sarcastically, Gerard replied. “So do I.”   
  
“I meant I can see why you wont tell me anything.”  
  
Frustrated, Gerard said. “Well that’s always good. Aren’t you supposed to read my files before I came into the room?”  
  
The man slouched in his chair and rubbed his eyes. “Gerard,” He sighed. “I want you to tell me everything you remember of the day you lost your memory.”  
  
Gerard froze slightly before remembering that this is sort of what he was supposed to do. Talk. “I remember darkness.”  
  
“Is darkness all you saw?”  
  
“I remember darkness, and then voices. Loud voices. I remember gaining my eyesight. I remember being told I’d fallen, or was pushed. That’s it.”  
  
“Can you explain why I only have details of your name and this incident on your file and nothing else?”  
  
“I’ve already told my doctor this.” Gerard replied quite angrily, “I visit a doctor every week to help regain memory.”  
  
The man became slightly irritated with Gerard. “I know this, Gerard, however I need to know to help you with these sessions.”  
  
“I don’t know, okay?!” Gerard shouted raising from his chair.   
  
“Sit down, Gerard. Anger isn’t going to get you anywhere.” The doctor replied extremely calm.  
  
“It might get me out of this fucking room! Do I really want to be here? No.” Gerard shouted and slammed his fists on the desk that separated them.  
  
“Then why are you here, Gerard?”   
  
That’s when Gerard started crying. It was a pretty traumatic experience. Gerard didn’t know what came over him. He was scared more than anything. He collapsed back into the chair and hunched himself over. He placed his head in his hands and sobbed. In between sobs he explained why he was there. “I… Frank… He told me I need… needed to be here. I can’t… I can’t sleep.”  
  
“It’s okay, Gerard. Is this why Frank got you an appointment?” The man asked, leaning forward closer to Gerard almost comforting.  
  
“I… don’t know. He doesn’t know I can’t sleep.” Gerard admitted, wiping his eyes from the tears. “I wish I knew. I… I wish I knew my past. Or who I am.”  
  
The doctor pondered for a while before asking Gerard another question. “What _do_ you remember, Gerard?”   
  
Gerard looked at his feet, silent tears streaming his face. “Words, sentences, the basic things that don’t involve my life.”  
  
The man nodded. “What did you mean about not sleeping. What happens?”   
  
“They’re nightmares, terrors, and the haunt my nights. Sometimes my days. It grips my throat and strangles me and overwhelms me. It’s an haunting, terrifying darkness.”  
  
The man leaned closer listening to Gerard’s every word.  
  
“I don’t understand why this happens. It’s terrifying.” Gerard sobbed.  
  
“Do you think it’s to do with the incident?” The man asked.  
  
“I have no idea.”  
  
“Other than the night terrors, how have you been settling in with Frank?”   
  
Gerard sighed, “It’s unusual.”   
  
The man raised his eyebrow, “How so?”  
  
“It’s weird living with a man you’ve never met. He so sweet and genuine. I don’t see him often as I’d like. He is in his study a lot.”   
  
“Do you like him?”  
  
Gerard stayed silent.  
  
“I’ll take that as a yes?”   
  
“Well, no?”  
  
“Is that a question?”  
  
“No,” Gerard sighed, “It’s just… He’s so nice to me. Of course I like him.”  
  
“Like in a romantic way?”  
  
“Of Course not! I’ve only known him 2 weeks!” Gerard exclaimed.  
  
“Fair enough. But from previous clients who have suffered with amnesia, they find falling in love the easiest way to remember things.”  
  
Gerard scrunched his face up, “I can’t just fall in love with someone. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work like that. I remember that much.”  
  
“No, I know. I’m just giving you tips.”  
  
“Well thank you, but it’s not going to happen.”  
  
“As for your sleeping patterns, I believe you should take some sleeping tablets. They try minimise brain activity while sleeping.” The man said handing over a small packet of pills.  
  
Gerard looked at them before muttering his thanks.  
  
“As for seeing me again, I’m going to arrange an appointment for about 3 days. Is that okay?”  
  
Gerard nodded and took his appointment slip and headed out the door.  
  
  
  
Frank had been waiting in the waiting room for over 45 minutes. When he saw Gerard returning with red puffy eyes his automatic reaction was to pull Gerard into a tight hug and make sure he was okay. He may hardly know the guy but he felt some sort of connection.“Are you okay?” Frank asked as he held Gerard tight.

Gerard nodded against his shoulder. “I’ve got tablets to help me sleep.”  
  
Frank pulled away and smiled slightly, “That’s good! When’s your next appointment?”  
  
“In three days at 3pm.” 

“Okay!” Frank clapped his hands together. “I’ll make sure you get there.”   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update?! After I updated yesterday?! I must really love this fic. I really like this chapter, it's probably my favourite I've written so far. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes.  
> Comment? 
> 
> Do you guys think the spacing between the speech is too large? :/ I'm not too sure.... :(


	7. Chapter 6: If I go down, You go down with me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're a killer and a Freak."

As soon as Gerard got back to Frank’s house, Frank disappeared into his study. Gerard wasn’t really complaining, being alone was always fun. Ever since the doctor/man/therapist said that falling in love may help him regain his thoughts, he couldn’t stop thinking about Frank. It seemed a little silly that such a thing could re trigger thoughts but this doctor seemed to think it would. He didn’t love Frank, and he would never be capable of loving him. Though he did feel _attracted_ to the man. It was all very confusing. For some reason his mind was telling him not to like him, and the other side of his mind was telling him it’s natural.   
  
He did have a nightmare that night unfortunately. It wasn’t his usual nightmare though. The darkness was a person. A murderer to be exact. He watched, what seemed like, hundreds of deaths before his eyes. His vision kept morphing between the murderers point of view and a point of view of a victim. It was scary and haunting. It woke him up eventually. He was thankful he finally woke before he murdered anymore people or got killed himself.   
  
For the 2 days before his next appointment every time he saw Frank or talked to him he got butterflies in his stomach. It was an unusual feeling for Gerard. He couldn’t stop thinking about what the man said.   
  
When he had his next appointment the man, who turned out to be called Doctor Scott, focused on Gerard’s nightmares. He weaved through the lines, trying to figure out whether it was to do with his memory. He went through lots of alternatives into what the meant. He talked about how the new medication started to morph Gerard’s dreams. He explained that this was a natural effect on the medication and would eventually even out.  
  
“I’m going to be back late tonight, Gerard.” Frank explained once they got home.  
  
Gerard looked at Frank in the hallway for a moment before nodding.   
  
“I have to work away tonight. I leave some cash for a pizza or something. Is that okay?” Frank asked hanging his coat on the rack.   
  
Gerard nodded again before walking towards the living room. He sat down and played with his hands. “What time will you be back?”  
  
Frank thought for a minute. “After midnight. Why?”  
  
Gerard ducked his head. “No reason, I was just wondering whether I’ll be asleep or not.”  
  
“Probably.”  
  
  
Gerard spent most of the day in his room. He wasn’t exactly hungry. He never ordered the pizza. He just laid in his bed and read a Stephen King book. He tried sleeping but it took him over 3 hours to finally get to sleep. And, of course, nightmares occurred.   
  
  
*This one was different. He was the murderer all the way through. Chasing a man. He jumped buildings and was after him to kill the man. Gerard was breathless when he finally caught up with the man. He had him cornered on the edge of the building. A wrong step and they would go plummeting into the ground. It was dark around them. The only objects visible was the man and the building they was upon. He couldn’t see the face of his victim. Nor did he want to.  
  
 _“Here to finish me off?”_ The man asked Gerard. Gerard knew the voice but he couldn’t picture it. _“Trying to finish of what you couldn’t even start?”_  
  
Gerard gripped the knife tighter in his hand.   
  
_“You couldn’t kill me before. What makes you think you can do it this time?”_   The man spat at Gerard, venom lacing his words.  
  
Gerard didn’t speak.  
  
 _"You're a coward._ _"_ The man spoke.  
  
Gerard tutted under his breathe, but he was unaware of doing so.  
  
 _“Gerard, what makes you think I would actually be friends with you? You’re a murderer.”_   
  
Gerard could feel tears dripping from his face.   
  
_“Everyone hates you. You’re a killer and a freak.”_ The face began to become visible as Gerard’s eyes began to adjust. Gerard was taken aback by the man who he was about to murder. The man who had been saying shit about him. It was Frank.  
  
 _“If I go down, you’re going with me.”_  
  
Gerard ran at Frank and pushed him off the building. Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard and pulled him with him. Both of them falling off the building for what seems like an eternity. *  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the shortest chapter I will upload, and I apologise for that.


	8. Chapter 7: Gerard is totally pinning for Frank

“Hey, shh, It’s okay.” Frank said to Gerard. He held Gerard's face keeping still and was soothing him.   
  
Gerard woke facing Frank. Tears streaming down his face. He was confused and tired.   
  
“You had a bad dream?” Frank asked holding Gerard tight. He was laying in the bed with Gerard holding him tight.  
  
Gerard nodded and sobbed into Frank’s chest. He held him back and didn’t let him go.  
  
Frank swept Gerard hair from his face and wiped his eyes carefully. “What happened?”  
  
Gerard just shook his head vigorously and held him tighter. Never once wanting to let go.   
  
“Oh. Okay. Tell me when you’re ready? Please?” Frank asked and kissed Gerard’s forehead. He continued wiping his eyes and moving his hair every time he sobbed.   
  
Gerard didn’t answer just continued sobbing and wishing away any memory of the nightmare. He couldn’t understand it.   
  
“Why don’t you go back to sleep?” Frank suggested.  
  
“Will you stay?” Gerard asked still sobbing.   
  
Frank looked hesitant at first but agreed nonetheless. He kept Gerard in his arms not moving until both of them fell asleep, content in each other’s arms.   
  
  
  
Gerard actually slept well that night. Other than his first nightmare, once Frank was there he slept fine. He woke sweaty and stuck to Frank. Frank was watching him intently and playing with Gerard’s hair slightly. A smile rose from Frank’s lips as Gerard awoke to his senses. Every time they spoke or saw each other they learnt something about the other.   
This time Frank learnt that Gerard wasn’t a morning person, and maybe, just maybe, he might have a crush on Gerard.   
  
“Afternoon Sleepy.” Frank said slowly to the woken and confused Gerard.  
  
Gerard raised his eyebrows before lying back down into Frank’s arms and closing his eyes.  
  
“No. We’re getting up.” Frank persisted.   
  
Gerard sat up and pouted his lips.  
  
“It’s 1pm!” Frank argued playfully.  
  
Gerard rolled his eyes and tried to unstick himself.  
  
Frank went quiet for a few moments while Gerard just sat there trying to wake himself up. “Did you sleep well?”   
  
Blushing, Gerard answered. “Yes.”  
  
“Good.” Frank smiled. “Can you talk to me about your nightmare?”  
  
Gerard shook his head vigorously.   
  
“Why not, Gerard?” Frank asked calmly.  
  
“I can’t. It’s too bad.”  
  
“You can trust me.”   
  
Gerard played with his fingers for a while before answering. “I killed you.”  
  
Frank looked a little taken away and thought for a moment.   
  
Interrupting Frank's thoughts, Gerard admitted his nightmare. “I chased you, I tried killing you. We both died.”   
  
Frank looked at Gerard and saw the tears running down his face. “It is okay, Gerard. We’re both okay. We aren’t dead.”  
  
“It just felt so real.” Gerard replied with quietly, silent tears streaming down his face. “How can I dream such a thing. My mind is so fucked.”  
  
“You’re mind isn’t fucked.” Frank replied, arms wrapping around Gerard comforting him.  
  
“No, but I am.” Gerard sobbed into Frank’s shoulder.  
  
“You aren’t fucked, Gerard. You are perfect the way you are. Nothing about you is fucked. And we can get help for your nightmares. Are the tablets making it worse?”  
  
He thought for a moment. “I’m not in nightmares anymore.”   
  
Frank looked puzzled. “but what about the nightmare you had last night?”  
  
“I am the nightmare.” He spoke in a dead, flat voice.  


 **\-----------------  
  
** They didn’t move from hugging the other for over an hour. Both of them were content in thee others arms. Even though a few weeks ago both of them was complete strangers, they seemed content in their relationship. Each time Gerard though about Frank he couldn’t keep a straight mind. His thoughts always wavered of to random places. Such as _how would Frank kiss?_ or how his life would  be if he was Frank for the rest of his life. He didn’t understand this emotional attachment.   
  
It still frightened Gerard that he didn’t have his memory, but he would be content if he spent his _new_ life with Frank. Though Gerard knew eventually Frank would ask him to move out and that’s kind of sad.   
  
Frank had to leave to visit his parents after a while, so he got up and cooked them both a meal. Eating wasn’t as awkward as it was the first few days Gerard was staying there. The meal was short, and not many words were spoken. It almost left the air feeling tense though neither of them was sure why. Everything seemed a little awkward, especially to Gerard.   
  
When Frank actually left, and promised he’d be home by 9pm, Gerard retreated to his room. He didn’t know what he planned on doing, so he blasted the Misfits out and left himself to his thoughts. Every single one of Gerard’s thoughts involved Frank, good and bad. Maybe it was due to his current memory only consisted of Frank but Gerard believe it was more than that. Everything about Frank was perfect. Gerard couldn’t get Frank’s extremely good looks out of his mind. He was perfect and kind. He had such a large heart to let a fucked up stranger stay with him. He was one of the kindest people that Gerard had ever met. Then again, Gerard doesn’t remember the people he’s met.   
  
Before Gerard knew it, he was palming himself through his boxers.   
  
“Fuck.” Gerard cursed under his breath. He shouldn’t be having these thoughts about the nicest man who he’s living with. He continued palming himself though, thinking about Frank’s mouth and the way he uses his hands when he speaks. Gerard could keep it up any longer, he had to touch his cock. He closed his eyes and pushed his jeans down. He gripped his cock and moaned obscenely. He placed his free arm over his mouth to stop the noise from becoming too loud. He’d not done this once since he lost his memory. He doesn’t remember doing it in detail before the incident but he does remember how good it made him feel. Frank’s face and voice filled his mind as he stroked himself rhythmically. He was hard quickly and leaking almost instantly. He was so turned on. And, even though he knew he shouldn’t, he thought about Frank’s lips around his cock. Enveloping his dick and going down on him right to the back of his throat. Gerard squeezed his cock before speeding up and imagining Frank humming around his dick. It didn’t take him long to reach an orgasm. Frank’s name rolling of his tongue as pent up sexual frustration released and spewed all over his hand.   
He tucked himself away after cleaning up and closed his eyes, ashamed and oddly comfy. ****  
  
  
_*“It seems as if you misunderstood me Gerard.” A woman’s disembodied voice spoke to him. He looked around for the woman in the darkness, yet no one showed. He was on his knees and his hands were bound at his back. Darkness surrounded him, yet it was almost at comfort. It wasn’t swallowing him, it was almost as if the darkness was his companion, to hide him rather than to kill him._  
“You was supposed to kill Frank Iero!” The woman’s voice screeched through his ears.  
Gerard shook his head.   
“Don’t deny it. You are a murderer.” The woman spoke loud and clear. “You’ll figure it out in the end, Gerard. You’ll realise the truth and, in the end, you will finish it off.” *  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is probably my favourite I've written so far.
> 
> comment your thoughts?


	9. Chapter 8: The Only Brother.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey.

Again, Frank joined Gerard in bed. He’d heard Gerard whimpering and cowering and woke him up. He stayed with Gerard to keep him company and, surprisingly enough, he felt oddly comfortable with Gerard. It became a routine, Gerard and Frank would sleep in the same bed and for whatever reason it calmed his nightmares. They were still there and still persistent, but they never seemed as bad when Frank was there comforting him. His bed seemed warmer and, 4 in a way, he wasn’t as scared to go to sleep anymore. Gerard therapist began to believe that this is the sort of affection that might contribute to him regain his memory. Gerard didn’t believe it for one minute though. He also refused to admit his affection towards Frank. Sure, he liked him but he refused to admit he liked him more than a friend. Even though he knew he did.  
  
“Morning, how did you sleep? I didn’t hear you scream last night.” Frank asked. He was holding him tight, just like they did every morning. Frank’s eyes sparkled when Gerard looked up at him, still groggy and tired.   
  
Gerard tried ignoring the question by pulling himself closer to Frank and pulling the cover over himself.  
  
“Answer me Gerard, please.”  
  
Gerard looked back up, “I didn’t have a nightmare.”  
  
Frank’s smile widened, and he held Gerard tight in his arms. “I’m glad!”  
  
It was in that moment that they both stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Neither of them breaking contact. Frank licked his lips slowly and unaware. It was Gerard who leaned in first, even if he was unaware he did so. Their lips connected briefly at first, but nonetheless a jolt shot up their spines. Frank face was painted pink as he blushed profusely. He deepened their kiss and pressed his lips even harder against the elder. Gerard shifted un the blanket to get even closer to Frank than he was before. Frank’s tongue asked for permission into Gerard’s mouth and he agreed. Both of them kissed heavily for a while, both of them content at where they were.   
  
It wasn’t until Gerard’s stomach growled that they stopped. Gerard sighed, unhappy that their makeout session ended.  
  
“Are you hungry?” Frank asked quietly.  
  
Gerard moved away from him slightly and nodded.  
  
Frank nodded back and clambered out of the bed and out the door. He made Gerard breakfast just like he normally did. Both of them expected the tension between them to be tight and awkward. Luckily, it was as normal. Neither of them brought up the previous events, both of them just carried on as usual.   
  
  
“So, Gerard, how has your memory been doing?” His therapist asked.   
  
Gerard sighed. “I don’t know. I can’t remember.”   
  
The man pinched at the bridge of his nose. “How about finding a love interest to help find your memories?”   
  
Gerard ducked his head and smirked. It had been a week since he and Frank had kissed.   
  
“I’m guessing that’s a yes?”

Gerard just nodded and his smiled widened.  
  
“Has it helped retrieve any memories?”

“Not yet. But my nightmares are less frequent.”  
  
“That’s brilliant. I want you to bring her or him in on our next session.”

Gerard nodded before leaving the room.   
  
Frank was waiting for him outside by the car. He had a cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth and he was playing with his hair slightly. Gerard’s knees buckled slightly seeing Frank like that. His lips were shining and Gerard just wanted to attack them. Walking over slowly so he could stare at Frank for a little longer.   
  
“Hey!” Frank shouted at Gerard when he saw him. He stubbed his cigarette out under his foot and turned towards Gerard.  
  
A smile formed on Gerard’s lips as he got closer to Frank. “Hi.”  
  
Frank placed his arms around Gerard and kissed his neck. “How did it go?”   
  
Gerard didn’t reply straight away he just held Frank for a while. “It went okay. He wants to see you next time.”  
Frank let go of Gerard to get in the car. They continued talking in the car, but nothing interesting was ever said. It was weird for Gerard this life. He didn’t know his past, or his future, but he did know what was happening in that moment. He was living with a complete stranger who was kind enough to take him in. And Gerard seemed to be head over heels for the said complete stranger. It was unusual to thing that his life has took a dramatic turn, and it’s starting to head in the right direction.   
  
“Gerard?” Frank asked as they walked back into house.   
  
Gerard turned round slowly and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”  
  
Frank smiled and held Gerard, “Do you mind if I invite an old friend round tonight? I haven’t seen him in a few months. He moved back home for a bit.”  
  
Gerard held Frank back and nodded against his shoulder. Even if it was slightly reluctant “Like an ex?”   
  
Frank moved away slightly and raised his eyebrows. “No, Gerard. Like an old friend.”   
  
Gerard giggled slightly. “Yeah, sorry, I just assumed.”  
  
“Don’t keep assuming.” Frank smiled before leaning in and kissing Gerard.   
  
Gerard just melted in Frank’s arms. It was unbelievable that Frank even kissed him. And Gerard was like Ice and Frank was the fire. It just melted him, and Gerard loved it. Frank had that sort of effect on Gerard.   
  
After pulling away, Frank said “I’ll go ring Mikey. I’ll be a moment.”   
  
Gerard knew he’d heard that name before. He could pin point the name though. He thought maybe Frank had mentioned him before. Though, he wasn’t too sure.   
  
  
  
  
  
\----  
  
  
  
The doorbell rang a few hours later. Both of them were on the sofa, in each other’s arms. Some movie was on the screen about zombies, but it was so badly made most of the time they spent the time kissing each other. Frank didn’t even bother to answer the door, he just shouted Mikey to come in. They were still interlocked with each other when Mikey sat down next to Frank’s feet.   
  
“Hey Frank! I haven’t seen you in so long.” Mikey said.  
  
Frank looked at Mikey and smiled. “God, man. It’s been months.”  
  
Mikey kept his straight face, “You got a new boyfriend?”  
  
Gerard blushed slightly as Frank replied with,  “Sort of. Gerard, this is Mikey. Mikey this is Gerard.”  
  
Gerard untangled himself from Frank’s limbs to shake Mikey’s hand. However Mikey didn’t extend his hand, he just sat there looking puzzled for a moment.   
  
“Gerard… Are you fucking stupid?” Mikey asked fairly aggressively.   
  
Gerard retreated his hand and looked confused. “What?”  
  
“Mother has been ringing you for 3 months, not once have you answered. I haven’t seen you in 2 years, yet you’re just hanging out at my old friend’s house!” Mikey exclaimed.  
  
Gerard’s head was swimming with words. Nothing made any sense to him. He put pieces together knowing that this was down to his previous life. The one he couldn’t remember. Yet, he couldn’t figure out what.  
  
“You two know each other?” Frank asked calmly.   
  
As Gerard said “No.” Mikey said “yes.”  
  
“What the fuck.” Mikey almost screamed.   
  
“I don’t know you.” Gerard replied slowly.   
  
He rose from where he was sat and headed to the door. He couldn’t believe Gerard was acting like this. He reached the door, had it open, before Frank stopped him from going any further.   
  
“Mikey, please!” Frank stopped him, “You need to know something.”  
  
Mikey sighed, “I don’t need to know anything. My own brother doesn’t even remember me. He’s fucked in the head.”  
  
“Mikey… He’s going through a traumatic experience right now.”   
  
“Really!? I’ve been thinking my brother was dead for a few months now. I’ve not heard shit about him!”   
  
“I think it would be wise if you let Gee explain it to you.” Frank sighed.  
  
“Fine.” Mikey replied reluctantly. He walked back into the main room to see a puzzled Gerard sat there.   
  
“Gerard, why don’t you tell Mikey everything you _do_ know.” Frank told Gerard.  
  
He didn’t know where to start. His hands were shaking slightly and he was picking at the skin around his hands. “Well… I don’t know you.” He started, before looking up at Mikey. “Let me rephrase that. I don’t know if I know you. The doctors told me I fell from a building and got Amnesia… I don’t know what happened, I don’t know you. And most importantly, I don’t know _me.”_  
  
Mikey genuinely looked saddened. “Oh. I apologise for my behaviour then.” Mikey sighed before continuing, “You were born April 9 th. You’re 30 years old. You have one younger brother, who goes by the name of Mikey… That’s me.”  
  
Gerard’s eyes widened at all the facts about himself. He couldn’t believe he was learning stuff. “Wait.” Things began making sense. It was almost like a jump boost that he needed. “I remember you.”   
  
Mikey’s breathing became uneven and a small smile surfaced through his hard exterior. “Really?”  
  
“You tried taking a heater in the shower. I’m pretty sure we had a weird childhood, but we were close. And you always had your glasses on the end of your nose.” Gerard giggled.  
  
“Yeah! It was pretty weird. I’m glad you remember. Do remember anything else. I can give you more details.”   
  
“Not too much. I don’t remember much.”  
  
“You were a bit of an art freak in school. You were amazing at art. We tried writing comic books toget-.”  
  
“I remember that!”   
  
“You left home when you was 21. You got into an abusive relationship… He died in the end, murdered, but you hardly ever came home after that.”  
  
“Oh…  I didn’t know that.” Gerard replied, quietly. “Do you know whether I had a job or anything?”  
  
Mikey looked at Frank for help but Frank just shrugged. “I don’t know Gerard.”

  
“Oh, okay. That’s fine… Thank you for telling me so much stuff.”  
  
Mikey smiled slightly, “No problem. That’s what brothers are for.”  
  
  
  
When Mikey left later that night, Frank ended up falling asleep on the sofa. He was on top of Gerard, though, so it wasn’t as if he could move away. His mind was swimming with thoughts and emotions. Everything was a lot more complicated now, yet he knew that it was answers to everything he wanted to know. He couldn’t believe he’d forgot who Mikey was. He sort of felt bad, yet he forgot who he was himself. It wasn’t as if he could help it. It was nice learning something about himself. He just hoped he remembered everything in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be super slow from now on, I've finally caught up on myself. :/ 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	10. Chapter 9: Mikey... Just Mikey.

“Frank… Are we together?” Gerard asked when Frank woke up. Gerard hadn’t really slept all night. His head was filled with too many thoughts.   
  
“If you want to be.” Frank replied, groggily as he just woke up.   
  
Gerard thought for a moment, before nodding. “Yeah, I do.”   
  
Frank smiled and attacked Gerard’s lips with his own. It was soft yet oddly possessive. Almost as if Frank was proving that Gerard was his and no one else’s. A small smile formed on Gerard’s lips as he realised that they were together now. Frank had helped him with most of his nightmares. The tablets he was taking help a little, he decided.   
  
“Frank?” Gerard asked, pulling away and slightly out of breath.   
  
Frank ignored Gerard and instead nipped at his neck slightly.  
  
Gerard whimpered before pushing Frank away. “Frank.”  
  
Groaning, Frank muttered “What?”   
  
Gerard giggled slightly, “Do you ever think I’ll get my memory back?”  
  
He thought for a moment. Of course he didn’t know whether he was going to get his memory back. Frank could only hope. But, he’d become accustomed to having _this_ Gerard with him. What if the previous Gerard was a complete dick, or just wanted to leave. He didn’t really want to think about that. Sure, he’s understand if Gerard wanted to go back to some of his old ways, though he kind of just wants to be with him now. That’s all he wants to do. “I don’t know, Gerard. I hope… I hope that whatever happens it’s what you want.”  
  
Gerard hummed and shifted slightly from underneath Frank.   
  
Frank thought again for a moment. He didn’t exactly know what to say. “What _do_ you want, Gerard?”  
  
A smirk formed on Gerard’s lips, before he leaned up to kiss Frank. He could become used to kissing Frank all the time. He just tasted so good. Everything about him was perfect to Gerard.  
  
Both of them was so lost in the other’s arms and mouth that they didn’t even notice the doorbell ringing and Mikey just casually walking into the house. It was only until the gipping noise Mikey made that they finally stopped.       
  
“Guys… Don’t fuck in front of me.”   
  
Frank squealed slightly. “Oops.”   
  
Mikey just hummed, unamused before signalling Frank to follow him. Frank obliged leaving a dumbfounded Gerard sat on the sofa not knowing what to do. And, for whatever reason, it seemed to Gerard like Mikey and Frank were gone for ages! He just sat there twiddling his thumbs, and wondering what he should do. He eventually stood up to read _A Storm For Swords_ again, knowing that they won’t be back for a while. He didn’t know what they were doing, and, quite frankly, he didn’t want to know.  
  
It seemed like an eternity until they both returned to the room, Frank looking somber and slightly sedated and Mikey looking the same as usual with his straight face. Gerard was a little confusing as to what had happened while they were gone, but it didn’t seem good.  
  
“Who’s died?” Gerard finally splurtted out.  
  
“What?” Mikey replied.   
  
“Well you both seem depressed and downright gloomy. What the fuck happened?” Gerard asked folding his arms over his chest in defence.   
  
Without hesitation Frank replied with “No ones _died._ We’re both fine!”   
  
Even though he didn’t believe it, he dropped any accusations and settle back reading his book.   
  
Mikey glanced over at Frank and rolled his eyes.   
  
Everyone just sat in an awkward silence in the living room. Why it was awkward Gerard did not know, but he didn’t want the silence anymore. The silence almost became deafening. Everyone just staring at the other for a while, never once speaking a word. That is until Mikey broke the awkwardness.  
  
“So, Gerard, tell me about you and Frank!” He finally spoke. He moved over towards where Gerard was lounged on the sofa, from a seated position in a chair. Frank smirked from across the room, now cradling a cup of coffee in his hands.   
  
A rapid blush formed on Gerard’s cheeks and spread across his face. “I…” Gerard started.  
  
“Go on?” Mikey pestered, nudging Gerard slighty.  
  
Folding the corner of the page, Gerard placed his book down on the coffee table and looked at Mikey who had curled himself in-between the side of the sofa and Gerard’s legs. “What do you want me to tell you?” Gerard laughed nervously.  
  
“Everything! How did you meet?” Mikey asked.   
  
A small laugh escaped from Frank as Gerard thought of an acceptable answer. “I don’t know!” He laughed, “When I awoke and had no memory, he was leaning over me. I’m fairly sure he called the ambulance and saved my life.”  
  
Putting his cup down, Frank interrupted. “I said he could stay with me when he was in the hospital. The hospitals have no files on him, no one knows why. And, that happened.”  
  
“How long have you been together?” Mikey persisted asking.   
  
Nervously, Gerard laughed. “It was made official this morning.”  
  
Mikey’s eyes widened. “Oh! You weren’t even together yesterday?”   
  
“Not officially.” Frank answered.  
  
“I’m sorry for assuming yesterday.” Mikey ducked his head. “I’m going to have to go now. So I’ll speak to you not tomorrow, but the day after? Does that sound good?”  
  
Both Gerard and Frank nodded, both of them rising to see Mikey leave.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating! Chapter 10 may be in the point of view of Frank. What do you think? Is that not good. I don't know! Hahahahahahaha


	11. Chapter 10: Frank's Meeting With Mikey.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank and Mikey meet up to discuss Gerard's profession.

_*****FRANK POINT OF VIEW*****  
  
_ Even though he hadn’t known him for long, Frank really did like Gerard. Maybe it was the mystery that really attracted Frank, but deep down he knew it was more. Gerard just made Frank melt. Frank knew that he had the same effect of Gerard, and that really made him happy.   
After Mikey had left, they didn’t really do much. They ordered pizza and settled down to watch a shitty horror movie that made them want to gouge their own eyes out. Both of them stumbled to bed, both of them passing out instantly in the others arms.   
  
They both woke up at the sound of the alarm. Gerard groaning dramatically and Frank trying to pull him out of bed. They both needed to go to Gerard’s therapy/counselling sessions today. Gerard, however, was not in the mood. Frank knew this immediately, and tried his hardest to get Gerard functioning to the best degree possible, but some things are impossible to change.   
  
Arriving at the hospital proved to be dramatic as usual. Traffic was incredibly bad, and someone tried to slam side on to the car. This caused Frank to be extremely edgy and made Gerard even grumpier. They both weren’t having a good day already.   
  
“So, Gerard, is this Frank?” The doctor asked immediately as they walked into the room. Frank could see immediately why Gerard didn’t like coming here.  
  
“Erm, yeah.” Gerard replied, seating himself down in the chairs that are opposite his desk.   
  
Frank sat beside Gerard completely unaware as to why he was actually here.  
  
“Hello Frank, I’m Doctor Morrison.” The therapist leaned over the table to shake Frank’s hands. Frank rose and held his grip tightly before seating himself back down.   
  
“So, Frank, how has Gerard been in the last few days?” Doctor Morrison asked Frank. Holding a notepad to take notes when needed.  
  
Frank looked around for a moment before replying. “He’s been really good, no nightmares that I know off. Everything seems to be getting better.”   
  
“Good… Good. How are _you,_ Gerard?” Doctor Morrison turned to Gerard.   
  
Frank studied Gerard’s face as he thought up of an answer. Gerard’s face didn’t change that much as he thought, but some thought did cross his face and showed.   
  
“I’ve been very good, thank you. Everything seems to be getting better. I have begun to remember certain aspects of my life.” Gerard answered.  
  
The doctor’s face looked genuinely pleased and curious to find out what Gerard had remembered. “What might that be?”  
  
“Well, me and Frank were on the sofa when my brother came round. I didn’t realise he was my brother at the time, but I remember him now.”   
  
The doctor gave a small smile, before turning his interests onto other matters. “That’s great. How about your love life? Is that helping you remember?”  
  
Both Gerard and Frank flushed a crimson colour. Frank almost choking on his breathe when Doctor Morrison even mentioned it.   
  
“Erm, I guess…” Gerard laughed nervously.   
  
“You guess?” The Doctor questioned, “Do you have anything to say on the matter, Frank?”  
  
A nervous chuckle escaped Frank’s lips, “Not really, Doctor Morrison, though he does seem to sleep better when I am around.”  
  
Doctor Morrison nodded while jotting things in his notepad, “Did Gerard ever tell you what goes on in these sessions?”  
  
Frank raised an eyebrow. Of course Gerard had never said anything, nor had Frank ever asked. It was confidential to Gerard, and Frank didn’t want to pry on Gerard’s business. “Er, no.”  
  
“That’s okay.” The doctor started, “Ever since Gerard started coming here I told him what I tell all my patients with amnesia. ‘falling in love the easiest way to remember things.’ Now, this isn’t always the case, but a lot of my clients found love helps the, as we could say, _healing process_. This is why you have been asked to come here today, I hope you don’t mind that. It seems that Gerard’s _healing process_ is already beginning as he is remembering. I trust that you two are together?”  
  
Frank blushed, “Yeah, we are.”   
  
The doctor smiled, “That’s great news, I’m sure you’ll be great together. Gerard, seen as though Frank is calming your nightmares down this may be ineffective, however I want you to start writing down your nightmares once you have woken. We can keep progress on them.”  
  
Gerard nodded.   
  
“Also, as for memories, I want you to try to remember things about your brother, from then on I want you to try to remember things that associate with him, like high school, your parents, childhood friends, childhood home, etcetera.”   
  
Gerard gulped but agree nonetheless. “Okay.”   
  
“Alright, I want to see you in a weeks’ time, we will catch up on your memory, but you seem to be doing fairly well at the moment”   
  
  
\-----------------------------------------------  
  
Frank was meeting up with Mikey that evening for a “discussion”. They did it occasionally when Mikey was in town, whether it was to do with work or just a catch up. Both Mikey and Frank worked for a newspaper company called Red. It wasn’t all a newspaper company. Mikey worked in the written department for accidents that happens, and Frank works in the physical field. His job description changes on a daily basis. Some days he may spend cooped up in an office, other days he might be chasing criminals down a street. Red mainly works as a part of the government, they are owned by the government but they are not the “bad” guys.   
  
Today they were meeting at a small coffee shop on the edge of New York. It was one of Frank’s favourite coffee shops. Not many people went to the coffee shop, but Frank used to go there when he couldn’t be bothered going out. He saw Mikey almost immediately as he walked into the shop. The shop was almost empty and Mikey was all the way in the far back corner with his hood up.  
  
“Hey, Mikey.” Frank waved from across the room. He noticed that Mikey had two coffees on the desk in front of him so Frank didn’t bother getting one himself.  
  
“Hi Frank.” Mikey replied pushing his laptop to the side slightly.   
  
“How have you been?” Frank asked as he sat down opposite Mikey.  
  
Mikey didn’t really change his facial expression. “Okay, I’ve been doing a lot of research recently.”  
  
Frank raised his eyebrow, “Oh yeah?”   
  
Mikey hummed, “Yeah. I found some interesting documents that you need to see.” Mikey turned his laptop towards Frank and opened up the first document. Frank didn’t know what he was expecting,   
but when he saw the document in front of his eyes his heart stopped.  
  
  
  
  
 ** _SKULL  
_** _  
_ _I, Gerard Way, have taken on a new contract to publically assassinate_ **FRANK IERO**. I have been offered **$50,000** for the contract to be complete under the circumstances set by the client.   
  
**target:** Frank Iero  
  
 **Reward:** $50,000  
  
 **Kill Type (if specified) :** Public  
  
 **Status:** Incomplete and in progress.   
  
  
  
  
  
Frank couldn’t believe his eyes. Sure, he knew that Gerard was an assassin. That much was obvious. For years his company had been working against Skull, he knew about the infamous Gerard Way. And when the news of Gerard’s disappearance had hit Frank’s company, Frank knew the man he had taken in was Gerard Way. Mikey backed this up when he arrived and announced that the Gerard on his couch was Mikey’s brother. Then Frank knew for sure that his Gerard, and Gerard Way were the same person. Though, he didn’t know that his Gerard’s current contract was Frank himself. What if Gerard regains his memory and tries to kill Frank?  
  
“Why are you showing me this Mikey?” Frank asked.  
  
Mikey shrugged, “You need to know. I also found a group email that everyone working at Skull had received.”  
  
  


 **** _SKULL  
  
_ _It seems that our long-time colleague and Friend, Gerard Way, has disappeared while working on his current contract. We do not know whether or not Gerard is safe, but we do know that he will probably not return. We believe Gerard has betrayed us and gone into hiding for a while, we are hoping that this is not the case, however we just do not know._  
  
If any of you have any details on his whereabouts, come find us immediately.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Are you okay, Frank?” Mikey asked carefully before sipping hiscoffee.  
  
Frank didn’t know what to say, he was speechless and frankly quite sad.   
  
“You… You did know about Gerard, right?” Mikey asked carefully, treading on heavy water.  
  
“I knew…” Frank started, he placed his head into his hands. “But I didn’t know I was his target.”   
  
Mikey hummed, “I don’t think he’d want you to be his target if he knew. I don’t think he would go through with it now.”  
  
Frank looked at the table and played with his coffee cup.   
  
“We had a great childhood, Gee and I, we were really close.  And when he went to college, I hardly saw him. And, at 21, he got into an abusive relationship.”  
  
Frank stayed looking down, it was a shame that this had happened to Gerard in the past.   
  
“The guy got murdered in the end. The killer was never found, but I know for sure Gerard killed him. I’m sure that is how he go into the profession. I didn’t know about Gee’s line of work until I joined Red 3 years ago. They told me about Skull and about their infamous assassin, Gerard Way. It confused me because Gerard kept his name and didn’t use an alias.”  
  
“I’m sorry, Mikey.” Frank replied.   
  
“It’s fine, Frank. He’s still the same person underneath. Especially know he’s lost his memory He’s even more like the Gee I used to know. When I started seeing him after I knew about his profession and he knew I knew, He always had an hard exterior and I never really saw the real Gee again.”

“I really like him, Mikey.” Frank blurted out. He hadn’t meant to but it had been running through his mind all day. He really did like Gerard. Even knowing what he had just found out in the last half hour he still felt head over heels for Gerard. There was something intriguing about him that attracted Frank.   
  
“I know you do Frank. When I’m in the room I can feel he feels the same way.”   
  
Frank smiled at the statement.  
  
“Look, Frank, I think we both know that someone out there wants you dead.”  
  
Frank nodded as the smile faded from his face.  
  
“I think our best option is to get Gee out of the country and get away.”  
  
Frank looked startled, “I can’t just leave my Job, Mikes, they need me.”   
  
“They have Pete? And he has his little gang, they can take all the physical tasks. It’s not safe here anymore. Not for you or Gerard”   
  
“How do we get Gee out the country? He doesn’t have a passport.” Frank asked reluctantly.   
  
Mikey smirked slightly, closing the laptop lid and standing up. “I know someone.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Sorry for taking forever with the updates, hopefully the next one is quicker. Not proofread because I can't b bothered an really wanted to get it out.


	12. Chapter 11: Phone Calls and Planes to Catch.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank and Mikey tell Gerard that they need to leave the country.
> 
> Also , one of Gerard's old memories return of someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Gerard's POV

Gerard had no clue over what Frank and Mikey were doing on their coffee “date”. He knew it wasn’t a _date,_ but it didn’t stop him from feeling a slight amount of jealousy. Gerard felt like he used to be the jealous type. He didn’t know if he actually was, but he felt like he was. He certainly was jealous now.  
  
Gerard didn’t do anything all night. He stayed watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show and doodling on a notepad. Gerard really couldn’t think of anything better to do. He fell to sleep almost instantly when his head hit the pillow, his clothes still on his body.  
  
The next few days went faster than Gerard had expected. Mikey was round more than he had expected. He had no nightmares, however he hardly ever got to spend time with his boyfriend. Boyfriend... It was weird for Gerard to even think that word, but it was true now. Frank was his boyfriend. It’s so unusual to think that maybe, just maybe, he had another partner at home. Well this was his home now. Though when Gerard thinks that he might have another partner he means in the other life he doesn’t remember.  
  
Gerard was sat in the main living room with his feet curled up underneath him when Frank and Mikey walked in with unusual looks on their faces. Gerard couldn’t decipher their faces and gave up trying after a while.  
  
“Gerard, we need to talk.” Frank said, sitting down across from him.  
  
Slowly, Gerard’s face dropped. Those words made his gut and head swim. To Gerard, it felt like it took him hours to nod.  
  
“We’re leaving.” Frank said, slowly.  
  
Gerard’s heart stopped beating and he couldn’t find the words to speak. Time seemed to slow down completely around him. He could only think one thing, Frank was leaving him. Even when their relationship had hardly begun. No one spoke for a while, or a few hours, Gerard wasn’t sure. It took him a few minutes for his brain to form coherent sentences. Though, really, it was only a few seconds. “What? Where are you going?”  
  
Mikey laughed but his face stayed fairly straight. “We.”  
  
“All of us are going away…” Frank said.  
  
Gerard looked up, his heart finally beating again. “All of us?”  
  
A smile formed on Frank’s lips as he spoke. “Yes, Gerard, all of us. Me, You, Mikey.. All of us.”  
  
“Where are we going?” Gerard sighed slightly before continuing, “no, _why_ are going.”  
  
Mikey sat down beside Frank and pulled out an envelope and slid it across the coffee table in front of them all. “We will explain more on the way, but we need to leave in the next few hours. We have a flight booked.”  
  
Gerard was extremely taken aback by this. He didn’t understand what Mikey and Frank were saying. It was all too much to take in. His heart was still racing to the point of exploding.  
  
“I’ll be back in a moment.” Mikey said walking away.  
  
Gerard’s eyes followed Mikey as he left the room. Once Mikey had left, he was left alone with Frank. Frank moved from his position across from Gerard and moved beside him. Their arms interlocked and they gripped tightly onto each other.  
  
Frank’s head rested on Gerard’s shoulder as he spoke. “Are you okay?”  
  
Gerard gripped onto Frank tighter. “I don’t understand what’s happening.”  
  
Frank nodded and held on for a while longer. When he finally did let go, he grabbed the envelope that Mikey had left on the coffee table. His fingers slid into the envelope and pulled out a few documents. One of which was a forged passport.  
  
“What are those?” Gerard asked, his arms still around Frank’s waist.  
  
Frank smiled and handed the documents over. “Your brother and I know people… We’ve gotten a fake passport, money, a place. We need to get out the country.”  
  
Slowly, Gerard’s eyebrows raised. “Why do we need to leave? What’s happened that is so desperately important?”  
  
Frank turned and pecked Gerard on the lips. “Don’t worry so much, Gee. I’ll explain more later. Let’s get packed, okay?”  
  
Gerard nodded and stood up from the sofa. He was nervous about this. He didn’t know why they had to leave, but he just accepted it.  
  
He packed everything he owned into a small suitcase that Frank had let him borrow. He didn’t actually own anything of importance. He just needed his clothes and he was ready to go.  
  
\------------  
  
“Here.” Mikey mumbled as he handed over a mobile to Gerard.  
  
Gerard’s eyebrows raised, questioning what Mikey was asking.  
  
Mikey rolled his eyes, “Ring mom… I know you don’t remember her but she’s being worried sick. Explain your memory loss and how we’ll visit her soon,  okay?”  
  
Gerard nodded as he hit the dial button. He pressed the phone to his  ear and stared out of the car window as they headed towards the airport.  
  
“ _Mikey?”_ A voice rung in Gerard’s ears.  
  
Gerard smiled as he recognised her voice. It was strange, remembering, but it was really nice. He doesn’t remember everything but he remembers their relationship. “Hey, Mom.”  
  
There was a slight pause, _“Gerard?”_  
  
Gerard giggled slightly. “Yeah, it’s me.”  
  
A gasp followed through the phone, “ _you’re alive? Oh my goodness. It’s so nice hearing your voice.”_  
  
“It’s nice hearing yours too, mom.”  
  
_“I thought you were dead! Everyone told me you’d gone missing! And once I’d rung you almost every day and you didn’t answer I feared the worst! How have you been, Gee? I’ve missed you!”_  
  
“Yeah.. About that… Sorry for not answering your calls. I haven’t had my phone… See, the thing is, I had a little accident.”  
  
_“What?! What do you mean by accident?!”_  
  
Gerard laughed nervously, “I fell out of a window. Frank, someone who saw me fall, called an ambulance and saved my life… I’ve been living with him while I’ve been regaining my memory.”  
  
_“You lost you memory?!”_  
  
“I guess. It’s still super fuzzy… Mikey and Frank are friend and so I saw Mikey, not realising who he was, and he told me things...”  
  
_“I’m so sorry that you lost your memory, Gerard. Will you be visiting soon?”_  
  
“When I have chance, I will Mom. It’ll be a while tho, Mom, sorry.”  
  
Disappointment showed in her voice. “ _It’s fine, son. I hope you’re okay. Ring me again, soon?”_  
  
“I promise, I will Mom.” Gerard said before ending the call with his Mom. Today was one hell of a day, and he had a long flight ahead of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter and shitty quality! I'm in my mock exam period atm so I've been revising like mad!  
> I think I'm going to start a schedule. I will probably start updating on saturdays/sunday and every 2 weeks! I will try to keep up with that. :)


	13. A quick update from the author

As much as I love this piece and I enjoy writing it, I've had to put the story on hold. It will return in the future but this update is long overdue.   
I hit writers block during the time I took off, I have the next chapter almost written but it really hit me hard. I had a long audition process into college, and now that I'm in, I have MANY assignments to complete.   
I hope that this will return soon but no time before the new year (or maybe if I find time and inspiration during Christmas break) but I'd love to continue this but right now I have got time

Sorry guys  
Love Chloe

**Author's Note:**

> I've missed posting! I'm back. I wanted to upload this fic after I'd finished it all, but I've been so eager to get it out! Comment what you think? :)


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